This mask says it all. It was a roarrrr kind of day from both the kiddos. They seemed to take turns living out their frustrations. We watched some Earth Day videos and took a brief jaunt out of doors. I squeezed out time I could doing work and tending to what felt important. But the lions also make me stop, wanting to be noticed. “Watch me!” “Look at me!” “You aren’t seeing!”
And the noise made me all the more aware of the swirling chaos built up in rooms of our house: pine needles collected on a walk, stray toy cars dotting the kitchen floor, and tiny bits of construction paper embedded in the carpet. “Roarrrr” the lions seemed to say. The actions from my children communicated to me–We’ve got all kinds of feelings that erupt as a result of being cooped up.
And then, a breath came as it usually does– once the most vocal cat of the Jungle goes to nap. And a calm reenters. And I can better forgive the scraps of half-finished projects. I can believe that even though this morning felt disastrous that there are other, better moments coming. The big-pawed feet of pandemic means that some stretches are particularly unhinged. This unruliness mirror the outer realities–we don’t have the control we so desire over virus.
And my children are mine to tame up to a point. And they are also mine to love. They are mine to be exhausted alongside and to get angry with and to apologize to–all as I model how to negotiate the flux of emotions that are real and rumbling. They also tame me.
And another breath came at the close of the day around the dinner table. Wildlife made it’s way before us again. Earlier in the month it was the fox. Tonight it was the blue heron just across the green near the stream out our window. What long and graceful wings! What a different way and mode of being. She brought along a peace, ushering in grace and forgiveness. She brought hope that the lions won’t be quite so…active tomorrow. She was a lovely gift to behold at the end of the 50th Earth Day.
I think we will need the gifts of the tenacious lions and the agile herons to navigate our next steps into planet care and preservation. Each day must be Earth Day. We should have a lot of feelings about what we are doing to our planet and what we are leaving undone. How might we mirror for the our little wild cats how to tend and care for our only home?